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July 4, 2025 · Key West, Florida

Florida Man Marks His Birthday by Doing Meth and Stealing a Tourist Train

90

/ 100

Florida Man score

Legendary

A man celebrates his 57th birthday by sneaking onto a parked sightseeing trolley, driving off with it, and picking up random passengers downtown.

Key West police said 57-year-old Jonathan Patrick Winslow told a Conch Tour Train employee he used to work for the company and asked for a tour, then climbed aboard a trolley parked inside a depot building and drove off in it. Employees tracked the trolley down and told officers Winslow had picked up two random passengers downtown along the way. He was found near the Southernmost Buoy and told police he doesn't steal, he 'borrowed' the trolley, and that it was his birthday. A search after his arrest turned up a glass pipe containing methamphetamine in his swim trunks. He was charged with burglary, grand theft auto, and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Score breakdown

Absurdity23/25
Humor22/25
Florida Factor17/20
Unexpectedness14/15
Headline Quality9/10
Source Quality5/5

Original source

FOX 13 Tampa Bay ↗

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