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January 10, 2019 · Milton, Florida

Florida Man Threatens to 'Kill 'Em With Kindness,' the Name of His Machete

88

/ 100

Florida Man score

Certified wild

A Florida man takes the phrase 'kill them with kindness' literally, deputies say.

A 30-year-old Milton man was arrested after neighbors said he threatened to 'kill 'em with kindness' during a loud dispute, then emerged from his home with a machete-style knife that had the word 'kindness' etched into the blade. One neighbor sustained a cut trying to block the attack. He was charged with aggravated assault and aggravated battery with a deadly weapon.

Score breakdown

Absurdity23/25
Humor23/25
Florida Factor15/20
Unexpectedness13/15
Headline Quality9/10
Source Quality5/5

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