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July 29, 2026 · Miami, Florida

Florida Man Charged With Attempted Murder After Cutting Off Rival Diver's Air Supply Over a Lobster Spot

75

/ 100

Florida Man score

Pretty wild

Content note

This incident involved a real attempted-murder charge and put an 18-year-old diver's life in danger underwater: there is no comedic angle to the near-drowning itself.

A dispute over a coveted lobster diving spot during Florida's mini season escalated when a man allegedly jumped in the water and shut off another diver's air supply.

About a half-mile east of Fisher Island shortly after 7 a.m. on July 29, 2026, during Florida's annual lobster mini season, a boat allegedly driven by Michael Joseph Simpson, 51, approached another vessel at a high rate of speed and circled it several times before anchoring about 10 feet away. An argument broke out over the diving spot, and Simpson allegedly threatened to turn off the surface-supplied air system feeding an 18-year-old diver below, then jumped into the water and did exactly that. The diver's boat owner jumped in and pulled him to the surface gasping for air and disoriented, though he was not physically injured. Simpson surrendered to the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center and was initially charged with attempted felony murder; a judge later agreed with his defense that the charge should be reduced to second-degree attempted murder.

Score breakdown

Absurdity21/25
Humor10/25
Florida Factor17/20
Unexpectedness13/15
Headline Quality9/10
Source Quality5/5

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